new sample pages featuring Spider-Man and Hawkeye, let me know what you guys dont like about em!!
sample script i used for comparison
The Amazing Spider-Man Sample
By Sean Ryan
Panel 1: A big
explosion erupts from out of a window in a building in Chinatown. Here’s a good
look at a Chinatown street
Spider-Man is above the explosion, so he is blown up and
away from the blast. He loses his grip on the phone, and it starts to fly away
2. SPIDER-MAN: No!
Spider-Man stretches out as he and the cell phone fall back towards the street.
He’s shooting a web shooter to catch the cell phone.
3. SPIDER-MAN: It doesn’t have a
4. SFX: THWIP
Panel 3: Close on
the web connecting with the phone.
THOUGHT BALLOON: Got it!
Panel 4: Close on
Spider-Man landing hard on his back, phone in hand, on the sidewalk of Chinatown. There could be people running around, afraid
of the big explosion.
6. SPIDER-MAN: Ow!
7. SPIDER-MAN THOUGHT BALLOON:
Forgot about the landing part.
Spider-Man, still on the ground, looks up and sees in the street, Hawkeye.
Hawkeye is in the foreground of the shot.
Hawkeye is in a fighting stance. Arrow pointed towards the
building where the explosion came from. That building is off panel.
1. SPIDER-MAN: Hawkeye?! What’s
2. HAWKEYE: I could use some help.
3. SPIDER-MAN: Yeah. I’m happy to.
Panel 2: The back
of Hawkeye and Spider-Man in the foreground. In the background of the panel, in
front of Hawkeye and Spider-Man is a gang of ultra-arsonists. I’m thinking
they’re wearing flame retardant jumpsuits. They’ve got either big reflective goggles
on, or maybe gas masks. Gas masks are always cool. Some of them are holding
flame throwers, and wearing the flamer thrower packs on their backs. They
should sort of look like a gang futuristic, Mad Max arsonists.
4. HAWKEYE: It’s a gang of
arsonists that have been making their way through Chinatown. I’ve been tracking
them for months. Thought I could handle
them by myself.
You take the right. I’ll take the left.
SPIDER-MAN: I can do that.
Panel 3: Spider-Man
is jumping at the arsonists. He’s dodging a flume of fire being shot at him
from a flame thrower. Spider-Man is firing webbing at another of the arsonists’
flamethrower. It’s blocking the nozzle. Hawkeye is dodging and rolling away
from a flume of fire. He’s firing an arrow at the arsonists.
Panel 1: Hawkeye
is down on one knee, taking aim and firing an arrow at the back of an arsonist
with a pack on his back. Spider-Man is in the background of the panel. He’s
upside down, flipping, and smashing the heads of two arsonists together. There
are some arsonists already down on the ground.
Panel 2: Hawkeye
takes cover as the back of the guy’s back goes up in flames. Spider-Man, who is up in the air, mid-jump,
is shooting webbing at this up in flames guy. Other arsonists fly back from the
force of the flames.
Panel 3: That guy
whose pack burst into flames is now wrapped in webbing, the flames have gone
out. He’s falling to the ground. Spider-Man stands in the middle of the knocked
out arsonists. Hawkeye is walking over towards Spider-Man. As Hawkeye is
walking, he’s kicking an arsonist in the face, who is laying down on the
ground, struggling to get up.
SPIDER-MAN: Those guys weren’t so bad.
Panel 4: Same
basic panel. Hawkeye is now standing next to Spider-Man.